Wednesday, April 28, 2010

RIDING THE BUS

***** I read where Shelby County Schools was to consider privatizing the school bus system . SCS owns & operates all of their buses . The budget for the rides is 10.8 million a year .

Every day those buses run ,it cost 60,000 dollars . The buses roll about 25,000 miles a day . A lot of headaches come with the bus business .

A major problem is the cost of fuel . When gas prices go up like they have for the last three years, it is a disaster . When your cost triples your budget is shot full of holes . Many school systems have had to park the buses.

The other big problem is the passengers who ride the buses. I cannot think of a tougher job than school bus driver. The driver has to negotiate traffic , stay on schedule ,& try to control 50 to 60 turds behind him or her.

Parents do not realize how wonderful the bus is . All they want to do is complain . The bus did not come on time or the driver corrected my child .

I used to tell parents who called griping & complaining " Life is too short to let a bus make you miserable, Just bring your child to school" .

Or ",Yes we are having trouble on that route Do you think you could drive it a week or so & get it worked out ?"

Now some of you like myself have fond memories of riding the bus to school . Let me assure you things have changed .

Parents today are crazy . They defend their child no matter what . Like Ted Bundy's parents saying " Yes it is bad about those girls but Teddy has self - esteem issues ".

If the school called Big Moose & June about me misbehaving on the bus ,they would not attack the driver . They would attack my butt .

The bus driver did swat me on the behind once just because I turned a little snake loose . It was utter pandemonium for about a mile until the older boys stomped the little buger . As soon as we stopped the driver whacked me one . I did not dare tell & hoped the driver would not either .Seeing as how the driver was my Granddad.

Yeah , let those parents bring those kids to school a week & they will realize how wonderful that bus is .

***** I was reading at the Doctor's office . It said in a medical digest that the average person passes gas seven times a day . I shouted "Praise the Lord Chilli Pepper , we 've found something where I am way above average ".

THANK YOU FOR READING !!!


Monday, April 26, 2010

JUST WONDERING

***** I was shocked the Steelers tried to deal Ben Roethisberger . All they asked for was a high draft pick . That is not much for an elite Quarterback . Ben has won two Super Bowls by the age of 28 .

I was even more shocked there were no takers . There are not more than five elite Quarterbacks in the NFL. They are very hard to find & here one is available for a draft pick .

There are three reasons why no team pulled the trigger on the deal ,

1. Ben has a 102 Million dollar contract that must be paid out.
2. Ben will miss 25 to 37 % of the season due to suspension.
3. Ben's behavior issues may not be fully disclosed at this time.

When there are no takers at that price ,it makes you wonder.

***** Tim Tebow was a first round pick . The Broncos are doing some risky business . The odds are against Tebow becoming a good NFL Quarterback .

Tebow , who had the greatest career of any college player,has three major issues . The concerns are ,

1. his throwing motion must be reconstructed
2. he was no experience under center
3. he has little experience reading defenses

All this means Tebow is starting the race far behind the other QB's. Can Tim catch up ? The Broncos are betting a lot of money he can .

***** Alex Rodriguez makes 33 million dollars a year to play for the Yankees . Think about that !

Using some math skills I learned at MIT I discovered these facts

1. A - Rod is paid more than 203,703 dollars a game.

The highest paid Yankee in 1969 made 100,000 dollars -- a year .

A - Rod makes more than double that every game .

2. A - Rod makes about 70,000 every time he comes to bat . Wonder what it cost every time he farts .

3. A - Rod makes more than the entire Pirate team .

THANK YOU FOR READING


Thursday, April 22, 2010

A STRANGE THING HAPPENED

***** They say that life changing events happen . You reach a fork in the path of life .

Robert Frost says sometimes it is the road not taken that makes the difference . Like when I didn't run away with that band of Gypsies when I had the chance .

My life changer came 40 years & two months ago . Yes , & 100 pounds ago . I won a boxing tournament . Here is what made the difference .

I was 19 & in my second year at JSCC . Daddy made me go to stay out of the war . I wasn't much of a student sporting a 2.56 GPA.

I had been a complete failure at everything at this juncture . I loved sports but was terrible at all of them .

I was the last one chosen in all the playground games . Sometimes my team got an extra player to make up for taking me .

I did bat over 400 in the Medina League one year . I hit 206 left-handed & 199 right - handed . I think that adds up to 405 . I want it understood that I was a switch- hitter in baseball only.

In football I was a triple threat back . I threatened to quit at least 3 times every practice .

Basketball was the worst . We won't go there .

I had only had a handful of dates . Mostly taking girls to stock car races

I was on a fast dark train to nowhere.

You can not imagine the shock & amazement when I won that tournament . I was shocked myself .

It was like if Pee - Wee Herman had whupped bad Mike Tyson . I was the first person from our community to win the tournament . And the last one anyone would have expected to . A couple of months later I won another one .

Six months earlier I had wandered into the Jackson Boxing Club. Coach Rayford Collins used me to prove he could take anybody to the title .

My whole life changed . I was the Champ . I was a 3.52 student the rest of the way .Where I had no confidence , I now had a mega - load of it .

I discovered the girls loved you when your name & picture were in the paper . I loved them right back . It was a real high when the men around town came to the fights & cheered .

My life changed . I used the success in boxing to carry over to many other areas . I was not a great boxer . There were many fighters in the gym better than I. They didn't have Rayford & were not willing to pay the price I paid .

Not everyone thought the changes were good . Some said I became an over - confident intimidating person . That might be fair .

I learned that I could do anything if I was willing to pay the price & had the opportunity .

All of the success I have had in my life is rooted in what I learned in the Jackson Boxing Club . Thank you Rayford .

THANK YOU FOR READING .

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS

***** A while back I was rolling down Union in my old truck heading for the river . I had about 20 empty Coke cans in the back which made quite a noise when I stopped .

You know the lights on Union last a long time . Sometimes you think the light has fizzed out & stuck on red . So, you might wind up behind somebody for a while .

Well, I rolled up behind a brand new Mercedes - Benz. It was a beautiful silver color . E550 was across the back .

I knew the price of this ride was north of 50,000 dollars . Lord have Mercy, that is more than Chilli Pepper & I paid for our first two houses.

What was so unusual about this car was the bumper sticker . You don't see many 50,000 dollar cars with bumper stickers .

I knew they must have strong feelings about the message. The sticker said HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS !

Well, sitting there at the endless red light gave me time to think . I thought I certainly do love Jesus . So I gave 'em a good long toot.

The Mercedes door opened & out stepped Dorothy of the Golden Girls .Looked just like her anyway . Diamond necklace & a Diamond ring strutting her stuff.

I am thinking she's going to tell me " Praise The Lord or maybe Love You Brother ." I leaned out the window to get my praise .

She put one hand on her hip & pointed at the red light with the other . She said " You Fat Old Fool , You see that light is red'.

She then got back in the Mercedes ,slammed the door & roared off when the light changed .

I was so stunned I just sat there a moment . Then all the cars behind me began to blow their horns & yell go ,go , go.

I don't think I will do anymore Honking no matter what the sticker says.

THANK YOU FOR READING .



Sunday, April 18, 2010

WHY THEY DO IT.

***** It is no secret why Nick Saban , Mack Brown , John Calipari & Phil Jackson coach ball . For the Money !! They make around 5 million a year to just coach .

Over half of the D - 1 coaches make more than a million a year . There is big money in coaching in the big time .

Why do high school coaches coach ? More & more , they are deciding not to coach . Shelby County & many other school systems are finding it harder & harder to fill coaching positions .

Why are most high school coaches choosing to opt - out ? There are three major factors in the decision not to coach .They are ;
1. Time
2. Money
3. Stress

1. Time - You can't believe how much time coaching takes . You spend about 20 hours a week in on the field coaching & games . Then add in the hours spent watching tape , washing clothes, repairing equipment, & field preparation & you are far north of 40 hours per week .

This estimate is just for the 20 week season & does not include the year - round off season programs. Remember , the coach also works a full time job as a teacher . Coach teaches 4 or 5 classes , grades papers , & does endless paperwork.

Oh , You also get the key . Not to the vault but to the tractor . You spend countless hours cutting grass. Don't have time to cut the grass at home . No time for your own kids. The Game comes first.

Coaches are working two full time jobs . Most days are 14 hour days.

2. Money - Well, they are getting paid for what they do .Really ! Most coaches in this Area are paid less than 5000 dollars for coaching . 5000 a year, not a month . How could anyone do this for that amount of money ?

More & more coaches are saying we can't.

3. Stress - There are few jobs more stressful than coaching . Your success is not determined by your performance but by the genetics of a bunch of teenagers .

You can never satisfy the fans . If you win every game , you didn't play the kids in the right positions or your team is not enjoyable to watch .

Also everyone expects to sign a D - 1 scholarship or it is your fault .

If the shot does not go in , everyone in the stands talks about how stupid you are . Everybody is an expert & knows a lot more than you .

A very successful coach in our area was forced to beg & bargain to keep his job for another year. Why ? The boosters just wanted a change.

Why do coaches coach

BECAUSE THEY LOVE IT

THANK YOU FOR READING !


Thursday, April 15, 2010

MAKES SENSE TO ME

***** Miss Wee - Gee was teaching her first graders to use their vocabulary words in sentences. Here is what happened.

Wee - Gee - "Today we are going to use our new words in sentences.Can anyone use the word definitely in a sentence ?"

Ralph - " Can I go to the restroom Miss Wee - Gee ?"

MWG -"No Ralph , you need to be here for this".

Sarah - The sky is definitely blue".

MWG - No Honey , sometimes the sky is gray or cloudy ".

Hilda -" The grass is definitely green ".

MWG -" No, Sugar , sometimes the grass is brown ".

Ralph - " Miss Wee - Gee , Does a poot have lumps "?

MWG - No , A poot is a gas & there are no lumps in gas ".

Ralph - " Well then , I have definitely MESSED in my britches.

***** 85 year old Miss Alma called the Medina Police - both of them . She wanted to make a complaint against her neighbors .

Miss Alma said " Them young folks are prancing around over there naked. I can't even look out my window without getting an eye full ."

The Officer walked to the window & looked out . He said " Miss Alma , I can't see in that window over there."

Miss Alma said " Well , you just climb on top of this dresser & lay down hanging off the corner & look in through that angle & tell me what you see."

***** Mr. John talking at Vernon's Gas & Go said he might have to move west due to breathing problems .

Mr John - I might move to New Mexico where it is hot , dry & only 5 % Calvinist.
Or I might go to Arizona where it is hot , dry , & 2 % Calvinist.

Uncle Slim said " John , Why don't you just go to Hell where it is plenty hot & dry & there ain't NO Calvinist."

ALERT, ALERT NEXT POST WILL BE A HOT ONE !!!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

view

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG ?

*** That is what Rodney King said after the L.A. riots . I have pondered that question many times over the years .

Memphis is the most polarized place by race that I have ever been . People from other areas tell me it is no contest .The tension in Memphis is the worst.

I think relations are worse now than they were in the 60's. A lot of the blame goes to Willie Herendon for his race - baiting election tactics . The hate Willie stirred up lasted long after the election .

How can this be ? A person's color can't make him a different human . How can there be so much division ? Then the very simple answer came to me .

It is all determined by our point of view , our perspective . If you & I were standing back to back on top of the Peabody ,describing Memphis, we would have totally different answers. The cause of the difference is our point of view.

Differences between Blacks & Whites are due to perspectives , nothing else . We are no different as people, we just have a different point of view .

This is why Blacks see an event one way & Whites see it completely opposite . This point of view concept explains other conflicts also . I grew up in the country outside of Medina . I am not going to see things the same way as a guy who grew up in New York City .

Now , we have identified the cause of the problem . What can we do about it ? Is there any hope for us ?

The Medina Mystic just does not know . If I could empower you to see through the eyes of another, we could solve all problems . Martial relations, racial disputes, & wars would all pass away .

I came of age in the 60's , the most tense time of racial conflict . The ball - fields & gyms seemed to be where most healing was found . Maybe, We were all watching the game from the same point of view.

At least those on our side of the stands.

*** The Medina Mystic makes no attempt to be politically correct . I write to make you laugh & to make you think . If I hurt your feelings I am sorry but Aaron Neville & I will continue to TELL IT LIKE IT IS !!



Sunday, April 11, 2010

JABS , HOOKS, & CROSSES

*** Way to go Phil Mickelson ! Phil the Thrill won his third Masters. A great feel good story . Phil's wife Amy & Mom are both fighting cancer .That is playing with a lot on your mind .

Tiger Woods played really well after a 141 day lay - off. Tiger had three goals for the Masters , he was only able to reach one of them .

Tiger was much more friendly to fans on the course . Tiger was not able to stop cussing & did not win the tournament.

I still think Woods will win 6 more Majors & break the record .

*** Sad to hear of the death of Dixie Carter. Dixie was a true home girl . McLemoresville is pretty close to Medina .

She was 11 years older but we experienced the same culture growing up . Dixie remained close to her roots . In other words Home Girl was keeping it real . So Long Dixie

*** This is my sixth year to be retired . I have loved every minute of it . 32 years in the school business is more than enough .

I have never once wished I was back at school . I enjoy my time reading & watching games .

I have coached two basketball teams & two football teams . Coaching is so much fun when you don't have to go to school .

I have the best part time job ever . I ride around Memphis for two hours ,listening to sports radio.

No schedule, bell to answer , or clock to punch . I get home in plenty of time to put tin foil on my head & study all the conspiracy theories . Also lots of Sudoku .

Even though I am retired I try to dress formal at least two days a week .
Now for me ,formal means socks & underwear .

Warm weather means shorts , t-shirts, & flip flops. Cold weather calls for sweatshirt,jeans , & Nikes.

I always hated ties . I wore one at my son's wedding the ,only time in 6 years that I have .

I hope my friends who have passed away are not upset with me for not wearing a tie to see them off .

When my time comes I won't be wearing a tie . I hope those who visit are not wearing ties either

.I hope Chilli Pepper has someone with scissors at the door to cut off all the ties.

I want Chilli Pepper to serve Starling Bologna , crackers & R.C. Colas .

Have a lot of laughing & story telling . Maybe some Freddy Fender .

Most of all , remember Jesus paid it all .

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

THIS & THAT

**** Tiger Woods is playing the Masters. Everyone is happy to see him back . If Tiger plays there is more interest which means more money .

When Woods started on the Tour ,prize money was 66 million . Now the money is almost 280 million . Tiger puts money in everybody's pocket . That is why they are glad to see him .

Tiger says he will stop cussing & be more friendly. Lord Help Us, I thought Tiger was a little too friendly before . I think that is why Elin is whizzed.

CBS & the sponsors are hoping Tiger will be in the hunt Sunday . More viewers = more money.

**** Five Kentucky players are going to the NBA early . Four are one & done freshmen . Who will Cal get next ? Cal may not care .

There is a story going around that Worldwide Wes is putting together a package to bring LaBron James to the Nets with John Calipari as coach .
Cal's family is not happy at Kentucky . I don't know if the Big Blue will be happy with one & done guys if they don't win the NCAA.

**** What are they smoking in Pittsburgh ? Folks are saying it is time to get rid of Big Ben .They said Ben embarrassed the team & that there are more important things than winning .

Whoa Now , this is pro ball we are talking about . Pro Sports are all about winning & nothing else . So are high school & college, we just pretend they are not .

I don't think they are going to announce at the Crushers game that the team did not win any games this year but lead the league in no arrests & United Way giving . These players are not going to make millions for being neat & sweet.

**** They arrested a nude man standing in Medina . He was standing in front of the post office just before daybreak . When both of the Medina police arrived they asked the Nude Dude what's up .

The boy who had been shaking hands with Jim Beam told the cops " I was at a party on Spring Creek Road , someone turned out the lights ,someone hollered Let's get naked & go to town . I guess I'm the first one here !!

THANK YOU FOR READING !!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

HERE IN THE REAL WORLD

*** For the last 32 seconds I was believing . I was wishing & hoping big time . Butler was about to beat mighty Duke .

I was going to witness Hoosiers become real life . Butler played the last half minute just perfect , except the shots didn't go in . It looked like both shots were going to drop ,but both rimmed out .

Jimmy Chitwood did not miss but Gordon Hayward did . Twice in the last 6 seconds . OH I was pulling so hard for the shots to fall . Both shots were oh so close . When that 50 footer bounced out I heard Alan Jackson singing Here in the real world .

Hayward is the guy Butler wanted taking the shot . In the movies that shot goes in, every time . But in the real world it just didn't . I really felt Butler's pain .

The tournament was great . 40 % of the games from the Sweet 16 to the final were decided by 5 or less . Take the same 16 , play it out again ,I bet you get many different outcomes .

What happens now ?

Does Coach K take that 15 million a year to coach the Nets ?

Will Butler be able to pay Brad Stevens enough to keep him ? Stevens makes about 350,000 . Some bigger schools will triple that .

Will Gordon Hayward go to the NBA ? The Smart Money says go, Gordon"s draft position will never be any better . Most feel Hayward is a first round pick right now. Could be a lottery pick .

Will we see another mid - major get this far ? Was the Butler run a once in a lifetime thing ?

Will Sigler come back to Duke for his senior year ?

Who will Cal lose,& who will he get to replace them ?

Can you win the NCAA championship with one & done players ?

HERE IN THE REAL WORLD
IT'S NOT THAT EASY AT ALL
WHERE HEARTS GET BROKEN
AND REAL TEARS THAT FALL

THANK YOU FOR READING , THANK YOU VERY MUCH !


Sunday, April 4, 2010

RANDOM SHOTS

*** It has been a great NCAA tournament . I believe if you played the round of 16 again you would have a different winner in at least half of the games.

*** DUKE vs BUTLER - This is a David / Goliath match - up . Did you know that Duke has more expenditures on one player than Butler does on the entire team ?

This game will have the highest combined graduation rate in NCAA history . Both teams have over 90% graduation rates . That goes to show you can win games with good students.

Duke/Butler will have six or seven white players start the g
ame. I can not remember a championship game with that many white guys . You may have to go back to the 60's to match that number .

Some say college basketball is weak this year due to the large number of one & done players . The great players only stay a year & those who remain are not NBA level players.

Look for Butler coach Brad Stevens to have some opportunities for big - money jobs soon . A 93 -14 record will attract a lot of attention . There may be too much difference in the money for Coach to stay at Butler.

I want Butler to win this game . But I don't think it will happen .Duke is much too big for Butler . The Dookies have 4 guys who are 6'10" plus , Butler has none . Butler big man Howard is foul prone . I think he starts the game with 3 fouls .

Duke has too many good shooters . If the Devils hit better than 50 % 3 - pointers like they did against UWV , Butler can not survive . Also the Bulldogs had better not miss 19 of their last 25 shots like they did vs Michigan State. Duke will put them away if they go scoreless for a stretch .

Another thing : Butler's best player is Gordon Hayward . He is really good ,& will soon be an NBA player . But every Gordon I have known has been a total Dork . I hope the Blue Devils don't make a dork out of Hayward.

GO BUTLER BULLDOGS GO !!!!!!

*** WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP - Stanford vs UCONN.

Stanford has won 56 of their last 58 games . The two losses have been to UCONN . The Huskies have won 77 games in a row . Stanford was the last team to beat UCONN. The Cardinal beat the Huskies in the Final Four two years ago .

Stanford is a big team with size at every position. They have a pair of 6'4" players who run well .The Cardinal will push the ball up the floor & the big girls are tough match - ups. Outside shooting maybe suspect . To beat UCONN ,the Cardinal must use the big girls to work inside & outside & not turn the ball over . Stanford does not want to get in a running game with the Huskies.

Baylor scared the snot out of the Huskies . Geno could see it all slipping away .I thought Geno panicked a bit & got his drawers twisted in a knot. Stars Maya Moore & Tina Charles righted the Huskies'
ship & bailed Ole Geno out.

UCONN does not have any major weakness . They defend & rebound really well . They have two great scorers in Moore & Charles . UCONN has a long bench with experience .

Geno is a good game coach but he will get frustrated.

Stanford has a chance . They were the last ones to beat UCONN.


Thursday, April 1, 2010

SOME UGLY WORDS

*** I am going to say some ugly words today.

GEORGE BUSH , GEORGE BUSH , GEORGE BUSH !

There I said it ,so chill out chick . I am neither a Democrat or a Republican . I think both parties are totally dishonest . No one could be this stupid .

Why am I banging on Georgie ? I voted for him . TWICE ! . I feel like Bush played me for a fool . I should have known better.

Bush was a rich kid who screwed everything up & had to be bailed out by Daddy. Why did I think Bush could be President without a bail out ? George gets a pass by saying he is a Christian but he does not talk straight . That National Guard business for example .

The National Debt was 5.7 trillion the day George took the wheel . The day Bush gave way to Obama the National Debt was 10.7 trillion . Almost double in eight years . Obama says you ain't seen nothing yet . The Big O has increased the debt to more than 12 trillion in 15 months .

How did Bush do it ? Anyone knows that if you cut taxes & increase spending you end up with a huge deficit fast . George should have learned that at Harvard Business school . I did ,taking arithmetic at Medina .

It is okay to cut taxes if you cut spending . Bush was elected to reduce government spending but must not have gotten the messege . We did lose 673,000 jobs during the Bush years .

Increase/Decrease Jobs/Spending, George got all this jumbled up .
George needed Daddy to bail him out again .

Bush also involved us in two high priced wars: Afghanistan & Iraq . That was to protect us from terrorists & punish those responsible for 9/11.

Funny though ,how the Bush administration had the battle plans for these wars drawn before 9/11 occurred. Remind you of FDR & Pearl Harbor ?

If we wanted to punish terrorists why didn't we attack Saudi Arabia ? That is where about 16 of 19 terrorists called home .

Cause Bush & the Saudi Royals are tighter than the button on those size 32 pants I wore in 1970 . Those pants fit fine when I was 145 # but at 248# they are a real challenge.

Pardon me while I cuss some more

BUSH, BUSH,BUSH, BUSH

Next week I am going to really cuss . I might say Obama for each dollar we are in debt ! WOO !