GATOR MOUTH - BIRD BUTT

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THERE WEREN'T ANY IRANIANS ON THE PLAYGROUND AT MEDINA . THIS IS THE REASON IRAN DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE PSYCHOLOGY OF TRASH TALKING .

THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF TRASH TALKING IS TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU SAY . IT IS SURE DISASTER TO TALK TRASH AND NOT BE ABLE TO DELIVER .

THE OTHER KEY PRINCIPLE IS TO ACCURATELY EVALUATE THE THREAT OF OTHERS . CAN THEY CARRY OUT THEIR TALK ?

FOR EXAMPLE : ROY TUGGLE ,FIFTH GRADE . ROY HAD BEEN HELD BACK 2 TO 3 YEARS & WAS OLDER & LARGER THAN THE REST OF US .

ROY TALKED A LOT OF TRASH & HE SURE COULD DELIVER . THERE WAS AMPLE PROOF EVERY DAY AT RECESS .

ROY MADE FOLKS EAT DIRT , ADMINISTERED WEDGIES ,& HIS SIGNATURE SWIRLY EVERY DAY AT RECESS .

A SWIRLY WAS WHERE ROY STUCK YOUR HEAD IN THE COMMODE & FLUSHED IT . SORT OF A FORE - RUNNER TO WATER-BOARDING. IF ROY WAS IN A GOOD MOOD HE USED A FRESH COMMODE .

EVEN THOUGH HIS SHOES WERE WET & HIS JEANS WERE DAMP , ROY WAS NEVER PUNISHED FOR THESE CRIMES . NONE OF THE VICTIMS SAW A THING . NARY A WITNESS .

ONE DAY , ROY PUT MY HAND IN A VICE IN THE AG - SHOP . ROY THEN TIGHTEN THE VICE. JUST ABOUT WHEN I WAS GOING TO BECOME KNOWN AS LEFTY ,MY OLDER & LARGER COUSIN BUD ARRIVED TO THE RESCUE . BUD GAVE ROY 3 MAJOR KICKS IN THE TAIL & SOME SERIOUS ADVICE .

NOW ROY TALKED TRASH & HE DELIVERED . YOU HAD TWO CHOICES; YOU COULD MEEKLY GO TO RECESS & MEET YOUR FATE OR YOU COULD MAKE A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE.

A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE WAS WHERE YOU PICKED UP THE HEAVIEST THING YOU COULD SWING & WITH NO WARNING HIT ROY UPSIDE THE HEAD .

A NOTE OF EXTREME WARNING . IF YOU MAKE A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE ,MAKE SURE YOU FINISH THE JOB . SEE PEARL HARBOR FOR EXAMPLE .

NOW IRAN IS TALKING SERIOUS TRASH . CAN THEY BACK IT UP ? I DON'T KNOW. IT IS WHAT ISRAEL THINKS THAT MATTERS .

IF ISRAEL THINKS IRAN'S TALK IS FOR REAL , DON'T EXPECT ISRAEL TO WAIT TILL RECESS . COUNT ON THE HEBREWS MAKING A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE .

CLOSING ON A HAPPY NOTE : ROY HOOKED UP WITH REBA MCCOY, THE LARGEST GIRL IN SCHOOL . REBA WAS SO BIG SHE WAS THE ONLY CHILD WITHOUT A DESK . SHE DID HER WORK AT A TABLE IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM . IF NO CHILD 'S BEHIND LEFT HAD BEEN THE LAW THEN THEY WOULD HAVE NEEDED A CRANE TO MOVE REBA ALONG .

LAST I HEARD ROY & REBA HAD TOURED THE WORLD ,ENJOYING A MOST SUCCESSFUL CAREER IN MIXED TAG TEAM PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING .

THANKS FOR READING !!!!!!!!!

A WALKING CONTRADICTION

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ELECTIONS ARE A HARD TIME FOR ME . I HAVE A HARD TIME FIGURING OUT MY POSITION ON THE ISSUES .

SOME ISSUES I AM ON THE FAR LEFT, OTHERS I AM ON THE FAR RIGHT . ALL THE INTERNET QUIZ SAY I AM A MODERATE.

I AM NOT SURE THAT EXTREME POSITIONS THAT TEND TO BALANCE OUT MAKES ONE A MODERATE . POLITICALLY BI - POLAR WOULD BE MORE ACCURATE .

WHAT REALLY DRIVES ME NUTS IS THAT ALL OF MY BELIEFS HAVE EXCEPTIONS . FOR EXAMPLE ;

1. I AM PRO - LIFE AGAINST ABORTION . EXCEPT IF THE MOTHERS' LIFE IS IN DANGER .

2. I AM OPPOSED TO THE DEATH PENALTY . EXCEPT IN CASE OF CHILD RAPE OR MURDER .

3. I AM IN FAVOR OF ENFORCING TOUGH IMMIGRATION LAWS . EXCEPT FOR THE ALABAMA FARMERS WHO COULD NOT FIND PICKERS .

4. I AM A COMMITTED ISOLATIONIST . EXCEPT IN CASE OF ISRAEL .

5. I THINK I BELIEVE IN A FREE MARKET ECONOMY . EXCEPT FOR MY CONCERN ABOUT ECONOMIC DARWINISM .

6. I AM SO CONFUSED ON HEALTH CARE THAT MY EXCEPTIONS HAVE EXCEPTIONS .

7. SOCIAL SECURITY IS A PONZI SCHEME BUT SOCIETY NEEDS SAFETY NETS .

AND ON AND ON . CAN YOU SMELL WHAT I AM STEPPING IN ?

I JUST WANT A SIMPLE COURSE OF ACTION ;

1 . BRING OUR JOBS & SOLDIERS HOME

2. A SIMPLE FLAT TAX WHERE EVERYONE PAYS THE SAME PERCENTAGE ON ALL TYPES OF INCOME .

3. GET THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF DEBT . CUT GOVERNMENT SPENDING PLEASE .

I AM REMINDED OF A FAVORITE SONG ;

" AS THE WORLD SEEMS SPINNING HOPELESSLY OUT OF CONTROL ,THERE 'S DECEIVERS AND BELIEVERS AND OLD IN- BETWEEN'ERS WHO HAVE NO PLACE TO GO '

***** A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY . IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR THE PUBLIC SCHOOL ?

THANKS FOR READING !!!!!!!!

THE BAIL OUT

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THERE WERE SEVERAL SWINGS ON THE PLAYGROUND AT MEDINA SCHOOL . THE SWINGS CONSISTED OF TWO A - FRAMES CONNECTED BY A CROSSBAR . CHAINS FROM THE CROSSBAR DOWN TO A BOARD FOR A SEAT .

THE CROSSBAR WAS ABOUT EIGHT FEET HIGH ALTHOUGH IT LOOKED LIKE 25 FEET TO A THIRD GRADER . YOU COULD GO AS HIGH AS THE LENGTH OF THE CHAINS AND GRAVITY WOULD ALLOW .

WHEN YOU GOT GOING YOU WOULD SWING IN A BIG U - SHAPED ARCH .YOU WOULD GO FORWARD TILL THE CHAINS & GRAVITY STOPPED YOU . THEN AFTER A SLIGHT PAUSE YOU WOULD GO INTO A BACK -SWING UNTIL THE PROCESS REVERSED AGAIN .

YOU WOULD GO BACK & FORTH IN THE BIG ARC , RISING HIGH ABOVE THE CROSSBAR ON BOTH THE SWING & THE BACK - SWING .

THIS LEAD TO THE BAIL OUT . WHEN YOU COMPLETED THE BACK - SWING ,BEGAN THE FRONT SWING AT THE BOTTOM ON THE U - SHAPE YOU LEAPED OUT OF THE SWING .

THE SPEED OF THE SWING WOULD PROPEL YOUR BODY TO TUMBLE OUT OF CONTROL ACROSS THE PLAYGROUND . YOUR ARMS AND LEGS WOULD BE MOVING AT SPEEDS YOU COULD NOT CONTROL .

YOU WOULD GO SPINNING OUT HEAD OVER HEELS , ROLLING , STIRRING UP A DUST DEVIL WEST TEXAS WOULD BE PROUD OF.

SOMETIMES YOUR PANTS WOULD BE TURNED BACKWARDS . OH , THIS WAS GREAT FUN . YOU WOULD DUST OFF , JUMP IN LINE TO GO AGAIN .

BEING A MUCH DEEPER THINKER THAN MOST THIRD GRADERS THIS VELOCITY & MOMENTUM WAS A PUZZLEMENT TO ME .

I CONCLUDE IT WAS THE SPEED OF THE SWING THAT CAUSED THESE FACTORS WHEN ONE BAILED OUT . I THEN REASONED THAT IF ONE BAILED WHEN THERE WAS NO SPEED , THE VELOCITY & MOMENTUM WOULD NOT OCCUR .

IT SEEMED SIMPLE TO ME , JUST BAIL DURING THE PAUSE WHEN THE SWING WAS OVER THE BAR . WITH NO VELOCITY TO PROPEL YOU ,YOU WOULD JUST FLOAT TO THE GROUND .

SO I ANNOUNCED MY PLAN . I WAS GOING TO BAIL OUT OVER THE BAR . THE NEWS SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE . JOE DAVID WAS GOING TO BAIL OUT OVER THE BAR .

THE ENTIRE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GATHERED AT RECESS TO WATCH . EVEN THE SIXTH GRADERS WERE CAPTIVATED .

I BEGAN TO SWING & GAZE OUT OVER THE ASSEMBLED MULTITUDES . WHEN THE BELL RANG TO END RECESS I WAS GOING TO BAIL .

AS I REACHED THE TOP OF THE FRONT SWING WHEN THE PAUSE OCCURRED I JUMPED OUT OF THE SWING .

I SEEMED TO DROP MUCH FASTER THAN I ANTICIPATED . I HIT LIKE A SPEAR THROWN INTO THE GROUND .

THE GROUND WAS A MORE SUDDEN STOP THAN THE OTHER RUNNING BAIL OUT. I HIT FEET FIRST , & FELL IN A HEAP TO THE LEFT .

MY HIP JOINTS FELT LIKE THEY WERE UP AROUND MY EARS . MY LITTLE BEHIND WAS IN LINE WITH MY ANKLES . I WOULD HAVE TO ROLL DOWN MY SOCKS TO ANSWER NATURE'S CALL .

MY BUDDIES HELPED ME INSIDE , WHERE I SPENT THE REST OF THE DAY PONDERING THE MYSTERY OF VELOCITY & MOMENTUM .

THOUGH I CONTINUED TO THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS I DID NOT CONDUCT ANY MORE EXPERIMENTS .

TO MY KNOWLEDGE NO ONE ELSE HAS BAILED OUT OVER THE BAR AT MEDINA .


THANKS FOR READING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

JUST THINKING

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I WAS NOT SHOCKED THE GIANTS WON THE SUPER BOWL . I LIKE THE WAY THE G - MEN PLAY . A LITTLE ROCK EM SOCK EM FOOTBALL .

ELI MANNING IS IN A CLASS OF QUARTERBACKS THAT IT DOES NOT TAKE LONG TO CALL THE ROLE. EASY E IS AMONG THE VERY BEST.

BRADY HAS NOT WON A SB SINCE HE DUMPED THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD TO MARRY THAT SUPERMODEL .

NEW ENGLAND HAS NOT WON A SB SINCE SPY - GATE WONDER IF THOSE FACTS ARE RELATED ?

A GREAT GAME TO WATCH BUT THEY NEED TO DO AWAY WITH THE HALF - TIME SHOW . IT TAKES TOO LONG & ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAVE SOME OFFENSIVE CONDUCT .

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COLLIERVILLE HIGH SCHOOL HAS HAD THEIR SHARE OF CONTROVERSY THIS YEAR .

FIRST THE FOOTBALL COACH GOES ON A RANT THAT DREW NATION - WIDE ATTENTION , NOW BASEBALL HAS A DUMPSTER FIRE .
FOUR PLAYERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY BECAUSE THEY CHOSE TO PLAY ON ELITE SUMMER TEAMS .

THIS IS THE SECOND CASE OF THIS HAPPENING AT COLLIERVILLE . I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THE DRAGONS CAN LOSE GOOD PLAYERS LIKE THIS .

FIRST TIME AROUND C-VILLE LOST GUYS WHO WENT ON TO PLAY COLLEGE & PRO BASEBALL . NOT TO MENTION THE PLAYERS WHO DECIDED TO GO ELSEWHERE .

DOES COLLIERVILLE HAVE ENOUGH BASEBALL TALENT TO SUSTAIN THESE LOSSES ? IS SUMMER BASEBALL THIS IMPORTANT ? HELP ME UNDERSTAND .

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I AM WATCHING THE MUNICIPAL SCHOOLS ISSUE . THE EXPERTS SAY THE MUNIS CAN AFFORD IT . I DON'T KNOW .

MY EXPERIENCE IS THAT A PROJECT ENDS UP COSTING ABOUT 50 % MORE THAN THE ESTIMATE . SO GET READY FOR UNEXPECTED COSTS .

THE ONLY PEOPLE I SEE COMING OUT AHEAD ARE THE CONSULTANTS & THE LAWYERS .

I WISH THE POWERS THAT BE COULD WORK OUT A COMMON SENSE SOLUTION BUT I AM AFRAID THEY HAVE PEED IN THE WATER BOTTLE .

IT LOOKS LIKE A LONG HOT WALK ACROSS THE DESERT WITH NO WATER . NOT MUCH CHANCE TO MAKE IT .

THANKS FOR READING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!